The Perfect Perfectionist

Hi my fellow confident and ambitious ladies! I have a few questions for you. Do you ever find yourself fearing failure? Do you ever link your self-worth to your achievements? Are you afraid that someone might not like you if they knew the “real you”?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone and I would say you are quite normal! We all want to succeed in life and want everyone to like us!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do your very best and wanting to reach your goals! You are to be applauded for being a self driven woman! But just like most things in life, there needs to be a healthy balance!

Being a perfectionist can be healthy and it can be unhealthy. Healthy perfectionists have high standards for themselves but don’t base their value as a person on achieving those goals. Unhealthy perfectionists have unrealistic high standards for themselves and when they don’t reach those goals they become self critical and are afraid to fail and make mistakes.

I grew up being a perfectionist. I am not sure how I became the perfectionist I am, but my perfectionism as a young person was not healthy. I had to be the best on the ball team, I had to have the best grades in the class, I had to perform the best at my piano recitals, I had to date the most popular boy…basically I just wanted to be the best and have the best. I remember all the sleepless, restless nights and bad dreams in high school and college as I worried and obsessed over everything. If you are so driven that you are finding that your goals and dreams for yourself are making you physically exhausted, making you anxious, or causing your to be afraid that you might make a mistake, then my friend, this is unhealthy.

As I said before, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best unless you are putting unrealistic high standards on yourself and it is causing you health problems or affecting your self esteem.

If you are a perfectionist like I am, I challenge you to reflect on if your perfectionism is helping you or hurting you. If you find yourself experiencing any of the negative side affects of unhealthy perfectionism than you know just how miserable it can make you. The good news is, you don’t need to lose your own high standards to continue striving to be the very best. If you are willing to make some changes, healthy perfectionism is an option for you. I have a few tips for you to be a perfectionist but how you can keep it a healthy:

*Set manageable and realistic goals for yourself and break your goals up into smaller bite size goals when going after a larger goal.

*Take care of yourself! When going hard after your goals make sure you are getting plenty of sleep, getting enough exercise and getting the right nutrition your body needs.

*Accept that you will make mistakes and don’t criticize yourself when you do.

*Replace your self criticism with a positive statement or thought about yourself.

*Celebrate and enjoy your achievements no matter how big or small they are!

*If you feel that you can’t overcome your unhealthy perfectionism, reach out to a therapist or coach for help.

While I do continue to be a perfectionist at everything I do I really do try to implement the tips I just gave you so it doesn’t take me down a destructive path. Remember, it is entirely possible to have high standards without damaging and destroying your own life in the process.

Now go out there and crush them goals ladies!